I just can’t fix things now.

Things were somewhat irreparable before I upset someone last night. I had to ask something they probably wouldn’t like but I had to know if there was information out there that wasn’t true. I didn’t want to upset them though. I don’t see the point in apologising because they’ve been too disconnected recently to discuss anything with… also, (I’m also not trying to be mean by this comment either) I’m not sure how much English they speak or understand. They might just not know enough to avoid further miscommunication. Some people use translators and never really learn another language properly. They know enough to communicate every day but they prefer to translate it into their original language because to them it’s less complex. As I said, that isn’t me being rude. It is just how it is sometimes. Everyone who doesn’t have English as a first language thinks in their native language but other languages the words are swapped around. This is why they phrase English in a different order than what we would say. I’m an English person that just wings my native language. One minute they said that they would reach out when they were ready because they were busy. Then they went really cold on me and then they told me I was out of order for asking a question that may have come across harsh. I wasn’t accusing anyone of accessing my notes… I had to ask because it does happen. I’m trying to sort all that false information on my notes out which is a major worry for me in itself. That makes me over cautious so I have to keep tabs on what information is out there about me. I have to technically police it regularly to be able to leave my past behind and get off of that 117 section aftercare thing. I wasn’t personally getting at anyone or accusing them of doing anything. I just wanted a straight answer which is why it had to be asked in a specific way. I’m not an awful person. Yes, I will nag the crap out of someone if I really want something which I have to work on because no one likes being pushed into a decision. They have to make it on their own. I just don’t believe that anyone would chose me as a friend etc without being pushed. This is due to the fact that it’s always been the case in the past. I now have ruined any chance because I accidentally upset them and pushed too hard.

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