Well, my finger isn’t broken… / please don’t try to push me in certain directions.

Firstly, I finally got through to someone about my x ray results. Luckily it came back not broken but as it’s still swollen I can ring up for a same day appointment tomorrow or get a pre bookable which is about a two week wait. They think it’s soft tissue damage but unless a doctor looks at it again they can’t confirm it. That is something you simply cannot fix anyway. It has to go away on its own. I have been doing everything I can to fix it with anti inflammatory painkillers, ice and warmth. It’s slowly getting better (just like my knee – reduced how much I walk). I tried to fix my toenails but they’re still digging in. I keep pulling the sides out but they make their way back in. I can’t go back because the situation is irreversible. I’ve said things that I can’t take back and said my decision not to go back is final.

I also just want to say that please don’t push me into things. I’m still not ready yet. I might never be ready. I know that I used to be good at all the arts and craft stuff. That was before the trauma of losing my son to adoption. I would love to go karaoke etc again but I literally haven’t been able to sing in years. Trauma of various stuff including what happened with my son made me unable to do it. I can’t use my hands much right now because of my finger issue. I just want to rest a lot at the moment. I need to do that for a few more months at the very least. I’m mentally still not up to it. I’m hoping that my knee and finger gets better in that time because I’m fed up of them being this way.

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