I’m not even bothered anymore. Mind too exhausted to actually care.

I have been awake the entire night again. I no longer feel bothered by anything that has happened recently… honestly, my mind just feels too exhausted to process thoughts even at the moment. I can probably not worry that anyone I was upset with recently has read the latest blog entries because they basically implied they weren’t going to be doing that after going cold on me. I had a slight crush at one point but that was fleeting. It’s not like it would have ever been reciprocated because of circumstances. I’m in my own head right now. I disconnected from the world because my sleep pattern made me out of synch. I still have my intuition but I am too tired to use it. I just had to take a painkiller for my finger and knee again (the cold weather is causing them to swell up a lot). I have checked that I can take those CBD gummy’s with ibuprofen, it said it would be ok. After a few weeks of being on that CBD stuff I’m feeling my personality is changing. I can’t describe how… it just isn’t the same. Maybe I am slowly losing the anxiety issues. I’m also constantly seeing the repeated numbers again. They always happen when I’m being warned about something occurring in my life. That is why, regardless of how I feel about stuff, I’ve pulled back in certain ways. If something is ever meant to happen it will when the timing is right… there is no way of forcing stuff that isn’t meant to be. I am so bad at waiting because I think what I want is never going to happen. Then I have rushed stuff every single time in my life and it’s just not happened anyway. Road blocks will always be put in the way if something isn’t meant for you. We only have control over our own destiny and actions to a point. We are then steered by the energy forces around us which determines what will be, what lasts and what is to come.

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