I spent the whole day in bed… because I decided to let things get to me.

I made myself get up, sort stuff out (flat was quite a mess). If stuff don’t get done I have to live in that mess and dirt. I went out for a walk. I’m not cold at all with this massive epic long scarf wrapped around me. I have it wrapped around the top of my head and then around my neck. I don’t even have cold hands because the ends go down and cover most of my length. Still no sign of my monthly. I’m bloated as anything but it just won’t get on with it. Someone asked me what the point of this blog was… I don’t actually know. It was set up as a massive f you to those that had always treated me badly. And, my job isn’t over until people stop doing that. I will humble anyone that takes a disliking to me. Regardless of what it is about. This is the only thing I actually have as a writer right now. I don’t have my family because my son was taken from me. I appreciate that to others I get free money because my disability has made it possible to get financial assistance which with the current circumstances in this country that makes me not very popular with those struggling financially right now. I wouldn’t have chosen to have a disability though or go through anything they I went through. The government is the one you should be angry at… not us that claim benefits for personal circumstances. I may have money but I don’t have a purpose and for someone with my personality type that is a frustrating existence. We e get just enough money to live. We don’t get to go on holiday (even if I wanted to) and to move it is going to take me a full year of putting money away. That is only allowed up until a certain figure because the system is capped. That means that as soon as I get to a precise figure I have to make quick decisions about where I’m moving and spend that chunk of money moving quickly. It’s hard to find properties to rent nowadays and if I’m going out of area then I’m going to have to faff about more. I’m already going to have to enter into discussions about how I’m going to pay a chunk of the rent up front if the landlord doesn’t want people on benefits. It is not a quick process and if I don’t tell the dwp everything I’m technically breaking the law. As soon as you reach that specified 6000 savings mark you automatically lose housing benefits and have a pound deducted from legacy benefits (don’t know about universal credit because I am still waiting to be migrated) so you’re still fighting a losing battle even trying to make your life better.

It has just popped up on my phone that England lost the World Cup game on penalties… that was expected. The women seem to be able to take them but the men just miss the shots every time. They should get their pay deducted and to the level the women get paid until they can master not missing them. It has become a thing now. It’s a problem that needs to be addressed otherwise we will never win these things again. They won back in 66 and got a lot less money… just like the women nowadays.

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