I am well aware of the mistakes I’ve made before I really made an effort this year. The start of this year was up and down, I did make mistakes but it takes a few months to balance out when coming off antidepressants. I managed to do it. I was a lot larger this time last year. I have put the effort in but my whole personality will not change. I’m still me. Me is who I was aside from autism, BPD etc. I’m sorry if that is someone with an attitude who just wants her freedom from the 117 aftercare clause and to be treated as a valued person. I have absolutely no agenda here. I tell it exactly how it is whether others like it or not. As I said to a troll via TikTok o someone’s video earlier, I know what I went through and I wouldn’t have believed that the system was capable of such things if I hadn’t experienced it. I’m honest about the shit I did in the past. I was pushed to do things by others though. There are two sides to every story. Why shouldn’t people believe my side? Why does it always have to be the side documented by various professionals that is believed? I had people who didn’t know me judge me every single day of my life for years. This year has been the hardest I’ve worked at things in a very long time. I will NOT have anyone ruin that by either accusing those of us sharing our experiences of being a liar or others that I have on social networks pointing stuff out that I did before I started coming off my antidepressants and sorting stuff out. No one is perfect and if others knew the amount of bullshit I have to deal with or at least had to deal with growing up those standards would not be risen so high. I do want answers from things that have happened in the past. That will stop my issues I haven’t managed to fix yet, for example: the fear I have when it comes to other people. I have to fix that before I can end my loneliness. It’s not an over night thing. It never will be. I can’t ever be perfect. I’m always going to be a little stressed in certain areas because I want things I just have never been able to maintain even if I’ve managed to get them briefly. I am only human so stop expecting me to be some super well rounded being that no longer stressed over anything.