I had to force myself to do stuff.

I thought that I would never go to bed tonight because I just sat there emotionally numb on the sofa thinking what’s the point? I had to put change of bedsheets/duvet covers on because I have to change them a few times a week due to the cats sharing them. Right now I don’t even want to go out again tomorrow. The blog is failing before it’s even began. It cannot compete with the likes of vlogging like TikTok. I only ever made this blog so that others would know I was ok to accept. It seems to have the opposite effect because it seems that people only accept those that are quiet. I’m certainly not… at least not on here anyway. I probably won’t sleep tonight because things have upset me more than I will ever admit on here. I don’t want to give others any power. I’m taking a painkiller then I’m off to sleep… well if I can. I haven’t seen daylight in the last few days. I’m doubtful that I will much in the winter with the way I sleep. I’m starting to look awful as I age. I’m losing my eyelashes still and my face just looks tired / bloated.

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