I got into trouble for forgetting my mothers birthday today. In my defence my head kept saying that there was something about this date but I didn’t remember it. I even had dad’s birthdate pop up on my phone 18:18 as a repeated number. That was probably him reminding me because when he was alive he always reminded me about mums birthday. I’ve had a lot going on in my head and not sleeping much so I genuinely forgot until she mentioned it when I rang her. I’m not making excuses but, as I said previously, my head has been flitting from one thing to another recently.
Talking about flitting from one thing to the other, I’ve lost another lb. I’m now 69.3 after finally managing to get my weight down by slightly increasing calories and reducing the amount that I walk. It just needed a little recalculation to keep weight going down rather than spiking up.
I’m now going to flit to the final thing I have to say tonight because I have a lot of other things to do. I was woken up by a tractor charity parade thing going around the local area earlier in memory of someone who had taken their own life. They were raising money for one of the mental health charities. I think I remember reading about it but I get a lot of stuff up on my newsfeed so I can’t be sure. I shared the link on my page and personal fb in case anyone wanted to join it or donate. I’m mentally not in the right place right now to go out there and mingle with others but I wanted to do my bit. I get kind of sad about these things though because they shouldn’t be happening. I see lots of stories about people taking their own lives pop up on my social media every week. These could totally be preventable deaths. People don’t need to be driven to that place if the system was fit for purpose and also if others weren’t so quick to judge those having a hard time. There is still a lot of stigma out there preventing people from not ending up in that position. That has to be tackled but money isn’t going to be the thing that helps the issues. That can help set things up but doesn’t change the attitudes that get people judged and treated in a way that makes them feel the only way out is to end their life. I have literally been campaigning and in this area of expertise in regard to journalism since 17 (when I was diagnosed with autism). That already gives me approximately 15 years experience of what I have seen, the changes I have seen and what still needs to happen within the system to make it more humane etc. I have actively taken risks rather than standing on the sidelines (as my record illustrates). It continues to sadden me when I see all these preventable cases still happening.