Christmas is already mentally affecting me.

I said that time heals… it does to a point. However, I just cannot deal with anything right now. I have completely flipped into a grumpy mood now it’s turned to the month of December. I am beyond tired because my sleep has been completely messed up for too long. Those of us with sleeping disorders need GP’s to still prescribe sleeping tablets. It is the only way we can regulate our sleep. I can’t do anything due to my finger swelling up. It’s a struggle to mentally function sometimes anyway but my finger just makes it ten times harder because it won’t allow me to do things. I need to wash my hair but that messes up my finger. I can’t mess my hair up by not looking after it because my hairdresser has now left the salon and apparently the profession. I don’t use the salon owner because her prices are expensive. It’s hard finding people who can do my hair properly. Some people (including the salon owner) tend to thin it out too much. Then sometimes people have cut it too choppy. It took me years to get all the sides of my hair even because previous bleaching broke them. I’ve lost bits of them now but not so severely. I cancelled the estate agent’s inspection because I just don’t want people in my space right now. The plumber never ended up cleaning the mould out of my baths overflow pipe. He rings every time the estate agent contacts them and no further communication. I have texted him to say I’ve received the messages and to arrange the date and time to do the job. I might get the job done by someone else and just pass on the bill to the estate agents because it’s a lot less hassle. I just don’t like the Christmas period because it shows everything that I’ve lost in full view. It is only 1st December. If I’m like this now… in 25 days I will just be so much worse. If I wasn’t so tired due to lack of proper sleep it wouldn’t be so bad. I can feel the bags under my eyes.

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