Still awake at a stupid hour…

Well, the CBD stuff didn’t actually knock me out, but I was extremely chilled out for a while. I’m yawning so I know I’m getting tired but I’m not actually falling asleep. I didn’t sleep until gone 5 am yesterday so I probably haven’t got to that point of actually sleeping yet. I am still a bit restless despite the effects of trying that stuff. That’s just me at the moment though. I have felt stuck in life for a while now. I used to be cool with being stuck when I mentally wasn’t able to join the world whatsoever. I’m now frustrated because things like karaoke is on this weekend and other places locally sometimes, but I have no one to go with. I wouldn’t go out on my own as a woman into pubs etc. because it’s not safe. People I went to school with now have kids so can’t go out in the evening. Others can’t afford it. I can’t remember how to sing but I want to see if I still can. It doesn’t matter if I mess it up at karaoke because most people sound like drowning cats anyway. I can sound reasonable if I don’t let anxiety and fear take over or I’m far too drunk (there is a limit where I just go out of tune).

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