So not sleeping has led to thinking about stuff.

I feel really sick, so I don’t think those CBD gummies suited me. They might just be the side effects of first taking them or something. That’s what happens with antidepressants and other medications. I keep thinking about random stuff which isn’t good when I can’t sleep. I started worrying about if I’d embarrassed myself in all my interactions with others recently. Then I really wanted to see A again so that we could put things right between us knowing that there were no loose ends that could bug me in the future. I know that where A is concerned, that she will never decide to make it right with me. She just isn’t a nice person, or she wouldn’t have accused me of stuff that was never my intention in the past. I can’t get sense out of a person that doesn’t have appeared to have ever shown any and at their age they certainly won’t get any more emotionally mature. If they haven’t grown up yet, then they never will. I just want peace. I have absolutely no interest in holding onto the past. It would be nice if we could clear the air between each other so that I could properly move on and actually trust others because I haven’t been able to trust anyone since what happened. I always am unsure of myself and how I interact thinking that I will probably upset others because of how I am. That is how the whole thing left me. I would probably be less like this if myself and A finally talked it over and ended things ok between each other.

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