Going to bed… feeling down and fed up.

I’m tired and fed up. I didn’t even do the washing up before I went to bed. It will wait, I can’t be bothered and it’s half 12 at night so I have enough time to reorganise my sleep pattern if I sleep soon. I bought some rose essential oil for my scalp because it stops the shedding and breakage of hair from H & B earlier. I decided to buy some CBD gummies too so that I can try them. I have just taken the first two. They are high strength so if I’m suddenly chilled out and not anxious at all in the next couple of days that is why. I also get upset when people call my life stuff that makes me think it’s worthless and I’m worthless. I know that I spend most of my life on my own and I don’t work etc. but that doesn’t mean my life has no value. People who can just go out there and make friends think the whole process is so damn easy. I would just like to say that as I have high anxiety with my autism it most definitely isn’t easy at all. That is why I’m trying the above because I heard it can help with that. Socialising is something that I’m not used to after having to shut myself away from the world to recover from stuff mentally for the last decade. I’m not used to being out there again yet. I lost any friends I did have moving area and not keeping in touch. Then I wouldn’t go out due to depression etc. I hate the life I’m living and have been living for the last decade, so I don’t need other people pointing it out. I can see it clearly.

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