Counting down the hours until I can go to sleep…

I have just got back from my walk. It is freezing cold out there. I’m thawing out in the bath (no I won’t drop my phone for those of you thinking that… I try not to be clumsy when doing so could be expensive). I have somehow managed to stay up for many hours feeling extremely tired. I don’t know how. The first few hours I was quite grumpy and literally fell out with the cats who were continually being demanding when it came to food etc. They are normally snoozing with me when I sleep during the day so they aren’t in their normal routine either. I have to reset my sleep pattern because I’m getting more and more plans and things I have to do during the day. If everything goes to plan I will fall asleep quickly tonight and hopefully not wake up the entire night until the morning. People have suggested therapy to help with my anxiety and sleep issues. It won’t work with me because I know too much and learnt stuff from therapist friends who do that stuff for a living. This means that my brain knows it’s being tricked into thinking differently. It literally won’t change anything due to the fact that I am too aware that it’s trying to be manipulated. I simply ‘wing it’ and hope for the best. That has always been my approach to life in general. It doesn’t work out using that method most of the time but it’s the only way I know how to function. I have to go because I need to put all my clean bed sheets on before I can even get into bed tonight.

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