Sleep didn’t happen again… I don’t know what I want and I’m very tired.

I have had a restless night. I’ve moved around so much that my duvet cover is all screwed up. I have a cat curled up next to me within that duvet mess. I’m passed the point of being tired. Physically and mentally, I’m feeling burnt out. I don’t sleep properly so don’t really get any rest to even slightly recover. I went for a walk yesterday, but it was not as long as normal. I don’t even know what I want anymore. I’m too tired to care about anything at the moment. I seriously need to tidy up my flat and my hair needs washing. I’m too tired to do any of that. Walking doesn’t involve really doing anything. I don’t have to be able to function to walk. I do have to be able to function to do stuff at home and wash my hair. That is something I can’t do much at the moment. It’s not the whole dieting stuff. I eat enough and only go down on the scale slowly. Yesterday I was 70.7 kg. I go down a few points every few days which isn’t too much. Even that isn’t consistent. It sometimes pings back up before going back down again. I’m just burnt out because I worked hard to come off antidepressants and that process is difficult. The whole trying to get my brain to function normally without them was a challenge. I managed it but I got tired. I now can’t function because I got burnt out. Once I am able to sleep again and actually get some rest then I will be fine again. That isn’t happening at the moment.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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