Random ideas that just enter my head on a walk…

I am walking so this is going to be a quick one. It’s not easy typing and walking. I decided that I will do Christmas again because I think someone needs to be the one to cheer everyone up who doesn’t like Christmas for whatever reason. I want to make people smile. What if (not this year but at some future year due to too late to plan something big at only a month to go) we all have a massive party for those that are either alone at Christmas or just don’t do Christmas with family for whatever reason. I’m not a huge fan of parties myself but it could be different things people could drop into on Christmas / Boxing Day. It would take a lot of organising and no one can drop out because it won’t work. I will be straight on the karaoke after a few glasses of wine. That is the part that I will enjoy the most. I haven’t done it in years so I will need a drink to gain confidence again. Then I will probably be going up there all night. I don’t have a clue what my voice will sound like. I know that I have a limit where I get too drunk and can’t sing whatsoever. The only thing that puts me off the idea is that I know the people around here because I went to school here and some of them I wouldn’t trust to not drop in and cause trouble on purpose. Some of them haven’t grown up at all. No one can be banned from a public event in advance just because of the above reason. In regard to this year, I could possibly plan smaller scale things because large scale stuff is probably too much to dive into yet. I spoke to my ex-therapist (who is now my friend) who said start small in everything because I’m not used to it yet. I just think it’s a good idea so that everyone has something at Christmas even if they don’t have a lot in life. There is no need for anyone to be alone now. We learnt how to communicate at a distance during the pandemic and we should use those ways to cater for everyone and do things we haven’t done previously. If we aren’t going to change the way we do things after what has happened then what is the point? In the spiritual stuff everything happens for a reason. I see repeated numbers a lot and have done since I had my son. I never saw them before that. How do I know that what happened wasn’t mapped out? I simply cannot explain some of the things that have happened. I was just a random kid who came out of a care home as a young adult and instantly started challenging people’s perceptions. I went back to eventually living a completely normal life (well as normal as mine can get). If certain things hadn’t happened, then this blog would have never existed, and my voice wouldn’t have been put out there. I have to go but as a final note. I lost weight again… 70.8kg so finally all the excess weight I gained is starting to drop back off. I have worked very hard though. I do eat properly every few days. I didn’t have much last night, but I make sure I eat the right stuff not crap. I’m still treating myself to alcohol, but I also track the calories in that too. That is how bad stuff doesn’t ruin what you’re trying to do. Half a bottle of wine (which I had last night is just over 300 calories and I scanned the actual bottle just to be sure.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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