Anxiety is so annoying!

I got to my appointment too early so I’m hanging around. That is why I have time to write something on here. The last thing I want to do is wait in the place when my anxiety is already causing issues. I literally feel sick, and my stomach is going funny. I haven’t eaten because I will feel even sicker if I add food. Anyway, to my body it’s like first thing in the morning because I haven’t long got up. I need to face people. I can’t hide away from them, and my feet need doing. I am getting that they’re a nice person. But then I have thought that in the past about people and I got burnt. The thing with A really left its mark on me. The fact that she shamed me for who I was and the issues I had in my background probably does still have an effect on me today. I’m really tough on myself. I tell myself to stop shaking, grow some balls and get in there. I know that no one is going to hurt me but the anxiety half of me is telling me that I’m somehow going to be punished for who I am. It has never kicked back on me so much before. I am normally like whatever. This is how anxiety can come out of nowhere. I’m not truly over some of my past and sometimes it comes out. I’m trying to go back out there after all that because I’m bored but things just aren’t as easy as I expected them to be.