Trauma affects me randomly sometimes.

I can’t cancel my appointment and not face it because my toenails are digging in again. They hurt last night. Anyway, I’m hoping it’s all in my head and that it’s not my intuition. I am mostly over what happened in my life but occasionally I get my feelings triggered by something tiny within a new situation and I’m literally taken right back to that moment when I went through something traumatic. It doesn’t even make any sense. I was fine earlier and then something kept looping in my head which had happened earlier on last week. Then it links to something way back in the past despite it not really being connected. Then I start doubting whether everything is ok in the present because of whatever. I was so paralyzed by anxiety tonight that I had to go home earlier to have a bath and just go bed. I hope that everything will be ok tomorrow, but my mind is telling me it’s not going to be. I can’t check if it’s alright late on a Sunday night. I’ve apologised via email just in case and that’s all I can do. It doesn’t help my anxiety though. It somewhat makes it worse. I don’t know I’ve been triggered into having a bad feeling. I’m naturally intuitive but sometimes I can’t tell whether it’s my intuition or anxiety fueling my restlessness and worry. I cannot be sure.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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