Triggering Christmas adverts…

I’m by no means trying to be a Scrooge here but Christmas can already be difficult for those of us who have experienced trauma, loss etc. I am dreading it already because I see everyone with their children having fun and being happy. I can’t be with my son because he was taken for adoption and there is no contact. It makes me really sad. I’m already having moments knowing I’m going to have to go through that emotional pain once again soon. I’m sure that many of you have seen that advert for one of the shops about a little girl being dropped off at her new foster care placement. I’m in tears typing this next bit already. I can’t be the only one who gets affected who has been through losing their baby/children to adoption. That brings back the pain intensely for me even after ten years (well, 9 since the last contact). There are no words to describe the feelings surrounding having to let your baby be taken by the system knowing that there is a real possibility that you’ll never see them again. The severance of that connection leaves scars that just don’t heal regardless of how much time goes by. I am in bits every April when it’s his birthday and Christmas is another time when the pain really builds up. Adverts like that touch a nerve that I hold deep inside me. It is what would be described as triggering. There are many people who will be spending Christmas alone after going through something like that and it’s could potentially cause them to flip into suicidal mode. Those that have nothing and see that who have had children removed for adoption are going to feel it more than others. I’m not alone at Christmas. I go to my mums at the moment but there are people who don’t have anywhere to go at a Christmas. I will be that way once my mum is no longer around. Those that produce these adverts (let’s face it for profit) really need to be sensitive sometimes. There are also kids that have been in the system who are now adults that can also be triggered by that advert. Some of them have had horrendous experiences at foster placements. I’m by no means a snowflake. I totally get that people don’t have the same experiences and their ignorance is not intentional but if this is reminding me and reducing me to tears then it must be doing the same to others.