I finally got home tonight. Literally I am not going for a walk tomorrow because I’ve done nearly 29,000 steps today due to detouring to places with working toilets which I wouldn’t normally need but for the fact that I happened to be on, and it was playing up earlier. It isn’t playing up now because my medication finally kicked in and it’s now under control. That only lasts a certain amount of time before I will have to take the next dose if it’s the same. I’m hoping that it was just a heavy day. The fact that I needed to take that medication isn’t a good sign. I thought that I had sorted that issue out until it comes on suddenly after months of being what I would call normal. I still haven’t sold my old iPhone X because music magpie malfunctioned. I know that it is devaluing while I’m not selling it. That was the point of my trip out today. I have just sat down to eat. I haven’t eaten all day because I woke up and went straight out. I didn’t know I was going to be that long. I have mister (cat) curled up on my lap and am waiting to wash my hair mask off.
I was also thinking while walking. I never wanted to move back here but I ended up here. Then I think of all the spiritual stuff about manifesting what you want to happen. I was literally pinged back here due to my circumstances (under duress). There were the things I did in relation to the whole situation where I lost my son to adoption. I got the judge from Coventry court assigned to the one in Leicester because of my own direction. Since then, there was people like a Down syndrome couple who got to keep their child and he heard their case. Obviously, as these proceedings are closed, I don’t get to hear cases unless the media chose to publish what their allowed or I hear it from those that I know in the system. Was I part of a whole manifestation effort made by someone else? We end up where we are meant to be not where we want to be kind of thing. It brings whoever is capable of meeting that manifestation into the right position by circumstances. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for what I went through. I wouldn’t be so careful when getting to know people and I would still be getting into trouble trying to get the love and emotionally stability that I never got growing up. I can’t say that I don’t miss never having achieved that, but I learnt that I can’t force others to love me, and reality is how it is regardless of whether you like it or not. It’s not a choice.
I will finish with a little note for a potential troublemaker watching my blog at the moment. I have friends who will know who this person is because she was the one doing the malicious reporting when I had my son and continued to troll me under fake names. I see the ip she was using in Mexico (it isn’t in that country; she bounces it to hide herself when she’s up to no good) is back on my stats. This hasn’t been on there for a long time. It’s funny how when I’m trying to release myself from that 117-section aftercare clause that it ‘appears’. Before you even start with the malicious reporting to the authorities about me etc I’m going to warn you that I will get it tracked and this time I will make sure that she is prosecuted. If I find out that she has gone anywhere near my son at any point while he was growing up she will also be in serious trouble. I will track her down if she tries maliciously report me to have any future children I may have removed. Please go away and leave me alone forever.
Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert Blog 