I have messed up my sleep pattern again. I’m also in pain :(

So, I decided to catch up with sleep during the day because I was extremely tired after getting up earlier than normal to sort out paperwork that had to go to the DWP. Then I went back to bed for a few hours. I needed the sleep and went for a long walk when I was awake again, now I’m awake at a stupid hour again… annoying! The fact that my monthly has decided to choose now to start one of those cramps that feel like it’s pushing down on everything around there isn’t helping sleep thing. I’m glad it isn’t doing what it was doing… well not yet and hopefully it doesn’t. If I’ve managed to balance out my hormones, then it shouldn’t go that way again. I will find out over the next 24 hours because the second and third day are normally when that happens. It was mostly ok last month but not completely. It takes a long time to rebalance hormones enough not to get clots happen at all. I’m not going into it because it’s personal. The same as if I got pregnant again. It wouldn’t be public until I was unable to hide it … if it was anything like the first time I never showed until at least 6 months. Then there was no hiding it because the bump was massive, and my son was 9lb so that was why. I don’t want to attempt fate by being open about having another child too early. I have legalities to sort out with that 117-section aftercare clause. I’m not planning to go ahead with any decision along the lines of another child yet but certainly can’t announce anything if things work out alongside each other. People tell me that I should lay down how I’m a fully grown adult now and that I shouldn’t allow the local authority to get away with leaving me on that thing. I have no choice for the time being. I’m hoping that the meeting will discharge me from it… hopefully that isn’t something that they drag their feet on. If they do complaints will keep going in. They tell me that I’m vulnerable due to my disability… I am showing them that I’m not. I don’t know how I’m going to stick up for myself and not be called a danger. They literally twist everything to get the result that they want. I’m prepared to do the same. I have the local MP involved so I’m pushing them from all sides. I want to be finally free, and this is going to happen whether the local authority and that integrated care team (it’s a joint decision) agree or not.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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