I know this sounds bad but it’s true.

Apologies for tonight’s blog entry being a little late. I have a cat that doesn’t like his medication so that is a battle we have every evening. I also finally washed my hair which I’ve just finished off with the hairdryer so that I could go to bed without damp hair. I already have a cold so not wanting to make it worse by sleeping with wet hair. I put it in a nice controlled low bun so hopefully it isn’t frizzy when I wake up. The cats have gone outside so I’m sure they’ll be jumping up at the window to wake me up when they want to come in.

Anyway, on to tonight’s blog topic. As regular readers know I have a compliance interview with the DWP next week. I’m half sure that someone has reported me in malice and it’s not the benefit review that was due in September of this year. I have looked on legal websites. Compliance is different from a review telephone call. I get anxious using the phone anyway. Part of my medical evidence submitted to them was words to that effect. I’m still forced to do a telephone interview which stresses me out on top of the fact that I’m petrified that my benefit money, which I rely on due to being unable to work because mentally I’m not fit for the foreseeable, will be cut or even stopped due to the decision this officer at the DWP is going to make. They are specifically told to deny people benefits by twisting what is relayed to them. I had to go to tribunal already in 2018 to get PIP and bits of my ESA reinstated after their assessor for the DLA / PIP change over basically said there was nothing wrong with me despite medical evidence saying my diagnosis etc. I know that I shouldn’t be treated this way but I’m literally starting to expect that kind of treatment. It’s crazy but I’m actually shocked if anyone does treat me with respect, dignity etc. I don’t think that anyone will be kind to me or even do anything nice to help me because I’ve always not had that happen ever since I got labelled autistic. The first thing they did was put me into the criminal category, sectioned me and left me in an autism care home for a few years. Then after I got out and had my first and only child the system took him off me for adoption. I have come to expect disappointment and an unstable existence. I would like that to change but from what little faith I have in human nature after everything else doesn’t give me much hope that it ever will.