Everyone seems so young to me now.

I used to get told by those older than me that everyone seemed really young to them (I was 20 something myself at that point). I know exactly what they mean now. I seem to be totally surrounded by either people in their early 20s or late teens recently. They were still children when I gave birth to my son at 24. That was only a decade ago. They still all seem to have that hope and excess energy that I remember having at that age. I can assure them that by my age (35), that will have been squeezed out of them by life stuff. It’s literally tiring just being alive when you’re mid 30s. Once you’re hurt a few times by people you’ve trusted you become a different person. The passion and love you have for others fizzles out into a numb just existing state. I just don’t care anymore so no one can hurt me again. I really don’t even care about getting an apology from anyone for how they treated me in the past. It’s just a waste of time and I spent years hoping that things would work out, people would apologise etc but eventually I decided that I just wasn’t going to wait any longer.

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