Very tired tonight… Uncomfortable to stay awake. I also have something that keeps popping into my head constantly that I think needs putting out there.

I cannot even remember the thing I was specifically planning to blog about tonight. I got back from my walk, had food and my energy just zapped. I shouldn’t be going to bed by 9 pm on my birthday weekend. Even if I’m not out enjoying myself I should at least be up later. I had to remove mister (cat) off my lap before I could even get into bed. He is wanting to cuddle up all the time and sleep on me. He does that when he’s got his issues going on. I may have to take him back to the vets soon. He’s also very vocal, keeps occasionally peeing around the place, licking his bum etc which are all signs of UTI issues. The stuff the vet gave him didn’t help long term and only lasted a week. He only gets fixed by antibiotics because it targets more than just the inflammation and pain he gets with them. I can’t do much over the weekend until places open Monday. That is my actual birthday but if he needs to go back then I will be going over to see the vets with him again. Apparently the PDSA mess around when it comes to treatments now. They don’t provide cures just mask pain etc. They have provided him with the needed medication years ago and his food was changed so they can give me the cure again. I have to drive him half an hour there and back. I’m not messing about because it costs petrol money, time and a whole lot of hassle trying to get him in the carrier. I’m absolutely exhausted. I’m not going for a walk tomorrow because I need a break. I would also just like to say something else because it keeps literally popping into my head. It must be important for me to say on here. Please do not judge me by what professionals have said about me. They didn’t know me. I was just in the system surrounded by what I later found out was untrue notes. Use your own judgment to do what is for the best. I’m sure the best in a decent human beings mind is polar opposite to actions recommended by professionals around me over the years. Do what makes things better and less awkward long term. I fought my way out of the cruel cold system because the way that I was treated in it caused me a lot of long lasting mental scars. That should tell people everything they need to know. The system has lacked any kind of loving quality that mentally I’ll people and / or those with disabilities need. Care has never been actual caring. Instead, it was merely individuals just picked up for being different and shoved in institutions etc.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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