I feel like an elderly younger person. Burnt the late night candle and still recovering.

I now have a brace for my leg and a strap tape thing for my finger. That is the best the pharmacy can do until I speak to the GP on Thursday. I think my finger may be swollen on something important because it feels like it’s squeezing a nerve in between my fingers and it’s a slightly different colour from the others. It’s still ok enough. I can use it albeit the strength had gone a little bit. I need to at least get the GP to arrange an x ray. I doubt it is broken because I have never broken any bone in my life. It also isn’t painful like it was when I first did it. It’s more likely to be something I’ve pulled… something popped in between my fingers when it first started. If I hadn’t tried to go back to the gym too early then it probably would have healed up properly. I’m not going out for a long walk today. I literally only walked to the local pharmacy to sort something to strap everything up. I got up late after burning the late night candle. I was on TikTok live for a few hours. Accidentally started an exchange of communication with my aunt who lives in Australia because I literally answered her email as soon as I got it due to checking emails in the middle of the night when I was just about to finish off. Time difference means as soon as I told her all my numbers were up to date, she tried to phone me twice at half 4 in the morning when I had finally got into bed and was about settled to go to sleep. I have to do certain things to get publicity for blog etc via TikTok. I’m too tired for human interaction once I have logged off for the night. It drains me. I barely have any insomnia when I log off that which involves 3 hours of speaking on camera saying hello how are you to everyone that comes in and talking about various things over and over again. I have no inner social battery left by the time I log off. It costs a fortune for Australia to ring the UK. I don’t like people spending that kind of money on me. I don’t deserve that after my past. If I get anything I have to work for it … hard … because that is my karma. That helps me with the guilt that I feel over certain things that I may never have meant to do due to my autism etc but it’s still karma because in the spiritual thing there is no difference between intent of actions. Energy is neither good or bad it’s just there. Anyway, my crippled ass needs to sign off today. I’m still tired so probably won’t be logging in on any lives tonight.

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