Insomnia again :(

I should have been asleep hours ago because I went for a long walk earlier. I think my monthlies have finally gone more normal so they’re no longer causing me hassle. They had a brief let’s flood everywhere session yesterday but it was only brief in comparison to what it has been for a long time. Mentally I’m still a mess but that is like a normal thing. Sleep patterns which are a mess leave your brain completely confused a lot. I just keep thinking which is never a good thing when you’re trying to get to sleep. I don’t think certain things will happen but I’m trying to stay hopeful. I have put in the work for a very long time. That doesn’t always mean it will pay off. I can’t control the actions or decisions of other people. I have tried to get everything in order to get others to make the decisions I would like them to make. I have to believe in what I want to happen because if I don’t truly believe in things then they aren’t likely to happen. I am about to totally give up on the idea of certain things happening. Things happen when someone is about to give up on whatever they have wanted. I don’t know if they will but I’m at that point. I am fed up with waiting for years to see certain changes happen.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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