This was all only supposed to be temporary.

I’m probably more grumpy than normal because I’m due on in a few days. I also can’t have a bath because the overflow pipe has got thick black mould in it. I tried to use the black mould remover that the landlord gave me a while ago before estate agent took over but the residue of that is irritating my skin which is now stuck in the pipe. I considered taking the bath panel off to get into that myself but you need tools to yank off the pipe. I only have a screwdriver. I didn’t get up until late because my natural sleeping pattern has returned so I didn’t email the estate agents until about 5 which is rather too late. Hopefully they’ll at least reply about the issue tomorrow. The last person who sorted it out for the landlord apparently retired to live on a boat and even if I was cheeky enough to ring or text anyone to do me a favour with a small bit of cash for helping me out, I don’t have anyone’s number on my new phone. I kept only the ones that are personal not any other ones that have ever rang/texted me. I don’t want the next bit to come across as ungrateful because I’m glad that the landlord didn’t go ahead with the plan to sell flat etc.

This next part is to do with me personally. I’m getting fed up with staying the in the same place. I only agreed to ever moving back to this area because I was led to believe that it was temporary. I did not want to stay. The weird quiet kid can never ever return to the place that they grew up. I broke that unwritten thing because I was led to believe that returning would stop my son being removed. That never materialised. It has now been 9 years. I feel stuck and am sick of it. I can never have a proper life here due to my past so now we are approaching a decade here I see it as enough. The trouble is that no one can actually move now due to lack of rental property arrangements. I wouldn’t feel right taking a property when there are thousands across the country gradually becoming homeless due to many landlords going ahead with the decision to sell up. Also, I probably can’t get anywhere myself because the discrimination against those on benefits out there is absolutely rife at the moment due to the government decisions pitting each group against each other. These discriminating decisions aren’t being done above board. They’re using other legalities to get around it for the exact same result. That is what this country does within its system and it always has when it has came to certain sections. It may take decades to stop it completely. The political landscape at the moment has taken the goals of changing these practices further back.

The landscape that keeps repeating itself … that doesn’t help. We go around in circles when there is no need to do so. They simply need to not make any of the decisions that destroyed things in the first place. Those making the decisions can literally remember those things growing up but they are still determined to go ahead with the same things that they’ve already seen the results of previously. The current prime minister seems to want to be the next Margaret Thatcher. That isn’t a good choice on a personal level. People are still burning effigies of her. That is how unpopular some of her decisions actually were. It’s time to step away from ego based decisions and not make those mistakes again. There are plenty of things that can be done to fix the current mess in our country but it’s not being done. She either steps out of ego based decisions and does those suggestions or be humiliated by a general election kicking her out. There is a lot of ground to make up already because of the queen dying a few days into her term as prime minister. That hasn’t happened to others that haven’t done the job that well.

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