Torturing myself on a nightly basis.

I have tried so hard to disconnect myself from any lingering energies so that I can move on enough for my current life not to be affected by what happened with A. I just can’t stop laying awake on a nightly basis. It’s torturing my mind every single night. It’s not been this strong in my years. There’s got to be a reason why it’s got really intense recently. It can’t be running only one way. A must be feeling something too. I always knew that we were supposed to meet for whatever reason. This is the kind of thing that happens when that scenario happens. I need a proper sleep pattern. I cannot stay this way. I won’t be able to function in my life properly if this happens every night. I can’t do relationships much due to what happened with A because it’s made me fearful. I need to be released from this hell. I let go but I’m still connected by energy so whatever I tell my mind it doesn’t matter.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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