Freezing outside! This is what needs doing if you really want to promote change in the mental health narrative.

I’m so glad that I put my jacket on before I went out. The heat has suddenly disappeared. I didn’t think I would get a warm birthday (end of next month)… the seasons just never end up making it happen over here in the UK. It is a good thing that I have lost a few stone because I can do my jacket up again. It’s still a little tight and wouldn’t fit with more than a thin shirt underneath because it’s a size 10 and I’m just under 12 stone now. I will fit in all my coats for the winter after I’ve shed another stone and a half. Unless I can get back to the gym (can’t right now due to injury) that’s going to be a slow process. I’m consistently going down but only 1 to 2 pounds a week. That will probably mean it will take at least 3 months to shed the whole amount. I might have my former figure back by Christmas at the earliest. I saw something on the news that pissed me off before I went out for a walk. Mental health crisis places opening up in the university that I was at which resulted in the restraining order against me. If people really want to change the narrative and understanding toward mental illness (which is not as straight forward as mental health in general) they need to fix what has happened to those that went before. It won’t cancel out the trauma that we went through but it’s a huge start to illustrate that society is prepared to work with us rather than continue to clash with us so much that we can’t have a normal life. It’s not just the restraining order I want discharging and to fix things with A (can’t do one without the other). I want contact with my son who is now ten because, however the services have dressed it up with fancy reports for courts over the years, they’ve been using parts of peoples disabilities to discriminate resulting in them losing their children. I have rearranged the meeting to discuss the 117 section aftercare with the social worker. I’m the meantime she has gone to find out how a discharge can be arranged etc after I showed the letter which I received from where she told me to write to. Everything for all that has been in the system needs to be stripped right back and rearranged to see if it really is appropriate to continue on the same level / situation etc. I can only do my own case to the limits of my abilities. I can only push people in the right direction to get what I need. I cannot force anyone to back me up. I can only try to convince others that I didn’t deserve what happened and it’s time to take steps forward to change things. I even hold my hands up to being a total lying bitch at times but I was trying to protect myself against a system that ruined my life right from when I was a teenager. I had no choice but to survive that way.

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