Emotional :(

I’m quite tired so I ended up emotional after hearing the song ‘sign of the times’ by Harry Styles. I’m cold and uncomfortable trying to keep under bed covers to warm up from heat of electric blanket. I didn’t sleep the whole night again because my sleep pattern is messed up beyond repair. I needed a good cry. I felt emotionally wound up. I’m very tired of things being a certain way but my autism limitations is making it hard to be able to sort out the things that I need to sort. I can’t attend meetings without being destroyed by anxiety and because I don’t sleep I’m always too tired to get there. I want others to do things so I don’t have to in some areas of my life. They probably won’t because others seem to have a way of being difficult and not wanting compromise. I make no secret of what I would like in many situations. Apparently, this doesn’t matter. I have to simply cope with how things got left. I am emotionally struggling due to being extremely tired. I’m exhausted with burn out. I don’t know how long the worst of it will take to pass. I’m emotional but also too tired to feel anything. I’m numb. Physically I’ve been going for a walk most days but it’s made me reach a level of burn out I haven’t had previously. Obviously, keeping in a calorie deficit is important for trying to lose weight but when you already lack energy it isn’t helpful. I have lost a tiny bit more, 75.5 kg when I stood on scales first thing yesterday.

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