I have explained this so many times, and I will do it again…

I don’t know how people just don’t get this but I will try to explain it again. If someone couldn’t walk, talk or whatever… that would be obviously caused by a disability which is visible to to others. If someone is prejudice or treats them in a negative way because of those characteristics it would be quite obvious. The things I did in my past and sometimes do occasionally now are due to my autism and BPD combined. I was treated negatively for those things. Those things were caused by my disability. It’s not making excuses. It’s plain and simple. Therefore, I lost the people I wanted in my life because of my disability. Those that tell me I chose the wrong people are always the ones I will just never be into. I see myself as above these individuals leagues. I want much better. I found much better but they didn’t want me. I am not visibly autistic. I don’t want anyone who isn’t normal passing. That isn’t a prejudice, that is merely my preference. I will be friends with anyone but when it comes to being with someone else I want to be with a normal passing person. But, before I go off on a tangent, I will swing back to my original point. If I have lost people by the actions that I did and things I said due to my disability… then that is purely ableism. I was treated that way basically because of how my disability affects me. They can get away with ableism toward me because of me being ‘normal passing’. I retaliated to that ableism and got looked at even worse and blamed for situations that weren’t entirely my fault.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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