I don’t know how people just don’t get this but I will try to explain it again. If someone couldn’t walk, talk or whatever… that would be obviously caused by a disability which is visible to to others. If someone is prejudice or treats them in a negative way because of those characteristics it would be quite obvious. The things I did in my past and sometimes do occasionally now are due to my autism and BPD combined. I was treated negatively for those things. Those things were caused by my disability. It’s not making excuses. It’s plain and simple. Therefore, I lost the people I wanted in my life because of my disability. Those that tell me I chose the wrong people are always the ones I will just never be into. I see myself as above these individuals leagues. I want much better. I found much better but they didn’t want me. I am not visibly autistic. I don’t want anyone who isn’t normal passing. That isn’t a prejudice, that is merely my preference. I will be friends with anyone but when it comes to being with someone else I want to be with a normal passing person. But, before I go off on a tangent, I will swing back to my original point. If I have lost people by the actions that I did and things I said due to my disability… then that is purely ableism. I was treated that way basically because of how my disability affects me. They can get away with ableism toward me because of me being ‘normal passing’. I retaliated to that ableism and got looked at even worse and blamed for situations that weren’t entirely my fault.