I don’t want to do today.

I know that I said there would most likely be no posts until later tonight but I haven’t slept. I’m stressed out. I don’t want to go today but it’s important that I do because it’s part of the process of coming off the section 117 aftercare clause. The social worker has to put their report into any decision making process so I have to meet them. I’m going over mums afterwards for evening meal. I haven’t slept. I will be painfully tired by the time the meeting starts because even if I fall asleep for a few hours soon I’m still going to be painfully tired. It’s too late to cancel it. I shouldn’t have to go through this much stress as a disabled person. The whole social care / health care system is seriously harder to navigate and function in when you have a form of autism. I’m not well at the moment anyway. The injury in my finger is quite bad. It’s gone stiff and swollen again. The strength has completely gone from it which is since I knocked it the other day. It got injured again before it healed. That is annoying because it was literally on the 6th week of healing. It feels like it’s pulling. I also have a cold. My eyes were running a lot recently so my eyelashes have fallen out on one side. I don’t need this hassle. I need to act better. These things aren’t helping me act like I’m mentally ok enough to be finally free from certain clauses.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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