I woke up really late again. I feel like I’ve wasted another day. I have tidied up and gone for a walk but I still feel bad for sleeping that long. I had a dream that I got pregnant and had another baby so hopefully that is a future prediction. It was definitely me now not in the past so not memory based. I looked like I was on my own again but things worked out this time. The thought of going there with someone again is unpleasant but I’ve been there before so I can do it again. If I work out when I can get pregnant exactly with ovulating in mid cycle etc then going there once should be enough. I’m guessing next week (although not planning to go ahead with it straight away, I can work out the exact mid point date and then I will know when that window is ‘open’). I woke up to really bad hair. I have a dry scalp which is probably not helped by all the calorie restrictions. I can’t do the roots when it’s like that even if I felt in the mood to tackle that huge nest that is my hair. People are like … doing your hair yourself with bleach etc is bound to go some really weird colours which don’t look real… who says I want to look real? I want to base my image totally on fantasy. I have heard the comment ‘are you for real?’ my entire life. I’m going to use those as motivation to become this total unreal figure when it comes to my public persona with the blog etc. I want to embody the whole thing and go out there being some kind of otherworldly Disney type presence. I wasted too much time trying to be like the rest. It never worked because I wasn’t meant to blend in. I was born to stand out to portray whatever was my purpose. I simply cannot be walking around for years with an energy in my aura that others can feel without merging into a role where my main purpose is to teach everyone to come together. Well, at least I think that may be my purpose. I can’t really work it out to be honest. I just know that I am supposed to be a fantasy looking unreal figure in the way I look and in the energy that surrounds me. I need to rest after being completely savaged by a migraine but when I bounce back the hair is being fixed. I simply can’t do much with my appearance today because I’m not up to it yet.