I need to do something to not be seen the same.

The news has yet again published a case that may lead to assumptions about me after what I got labelled as in the past. I’m autistic, therefore the reason I got into trouble was that I wanted friends and I hadn’t a clue how to make/keep them. I’m a little more able as I got older but I can’t ditch the autism completely. I would NEVER intentionally go out to do what that ex radio presenter did to other people he worked with. I am planning to tell the truth about A to the university because I did lie due to BPD, which was due to rejection based anxiety. I’m not sure how I’m going to do that yet. It isn’t something I can just spill out after all this time without planning. I want to lay it thickly on the line that I’m not like these people involved in high profile cases. I don’t want to be seen like that. I know my intentions and I will state them time and time again to avoid being seen the same. Once I knew that I probably had BPD I made sure that I stayed away from others so then being rejected couldn’t trigger the darker side of me. That is what I continue to do despite wishing that I could meet someone and be accepted. I need that barrier there to stop accusations in the future unless the person proves that they can go over that line which they could if they proved that they were trustworthy.

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