I don’t know how I’m functioning today.

I decided to do some late admin work (stuff I’ve just posted on my walk) alongside a small pack of wkd. I should never drink more than two small bottles a night but the whole four was gone by the time I had finished something on my laptop. I now can’t eat much for a few days to take back down calories that has increased my weight slightly. I don’t eat a lot now anyway so one meal this evening isn’t going to take my weight up any more because it’s mostly going to be noodles with vegetables. I am strict with myself. I either allow myself the alcohol or cut out a meal (dinner and breakfast today).

I found out last night that I can now use something behind my name officially after I completed the stuff at the open university (Law CERT HE (open)). I used it on the documents that I was typing last night for the first time. It is weird when you’ve worked so hard for a stupid number of years and then it suddenly pays off. I thought that I was only going to get a certificate to prove that I could do the admin side if I went for a position somewhere. I’m still in shock. It hasn’t quite sunk in yet. I know it’s not a lot to others but my brain was never normal and I didn’t think it would be able to do enough to get me that kind of thing. I found it to hard to do the whole degree and the support they can offer won’t change how my brain works that makes the academic structure of how I had to present stuff extremely hard, not to mention that sometimes my understanding just malfunctions. I can’t get certain things enough to ever pass a degree in the law field. It gets far too complex at about level 2. However, now I am qualified enough, I can go off to do the work to close the gap between neurodivergent thinking and neurotypical ensuring that things change enough for lives to improve. There was no one around like me growing up to fix these things. I had to go through everything to become the person who hates injustice so much that they make it their business to fix it all.