I managed to get some sleep. I’m sat with my cat feeling absolutely horrendous. Physically my monthly is really draining me. I have things to do which involves going out of my home. I don’t mentally want to go out today but I have no choice. I’m going to have to extract mister from my lap when I do get up. He doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to move because he’s comfortable. Mentally I really need answers to things in the past. I need to know why I deserved what happened to me when others get compassion and understanding for their disability / mental health condition. I need to be able to get my head around it and process it to stop feeling like I am an evil person who deserved to be labelled a criminal. I need to be given permission to have a good life full of positive things because I constantly feel like things that have happened means I’m not allowed a happy life.