Lazy reminder: get a job.

Right, I managed to get to my foot appointment today. That’s sorted for another however long it takes for things to grow again. She packed the edges so that the corners no longer dig in. I’m used to these comments so I don’t take things to heart because to someone who works and has a foreign accent (so I presume that they legally won’t be able to claim benefits in the UK) she won’t understand my situation and it’s too long winded to explain details. Yes, people with forms of autism do work but only a low percentage. I have been traumatised every single time I went into the world. I may be more ready now because I’m quite matter of fact and mentally strong now. I do not feel safe to go out there while on a s.117 aftercare. There is too much stigma because the clause itself is a clue to my past for any new people I may meet in the future. I know that others won’t know unless they dig but there are people out there that will do just that in order to get dirt on others if they appear to be ‘in their way’. Or on the proviso that places want to ‘provide support’. These are all the things I’ve experienced in the past and I will point blankly refuse to be in any position which puts people in the position to do just that. Then trying to explain the challenges of my sleep pattern makes me just sound lazy when they isn’t the case. I used to go college full time with barely any sleep. I literally used to miss it out if I wasn’t asleep by a certain time. I got up and went out then the tiredness went off during the day. I got most of my GCSEs as an adult despite not being able to get the maths one. (It was too hard but I got my level 2 which is the equivalent of a C grade). Trauma literally hit me after I had finished all that getting my education. I’m just constantly knackered nowadays and… fatter. I literally took a laxative last night and it made me heavier. I overdid the calories at the weekend and now I have undone 2 pounds worth of progress but the fact that my period is due in two days is probably not helping.

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