The current children’s services system is NOT what is best for the child. If it was then most families that actually agreed to the adoptions without opposing it would get their promised letterbox contact. That doesn’t happen because the adoptive parents want the child without the birth family connection. It is easier for them to just be handed a child with no strings attached. It is basically about social engineering… not what is best for the child. I was promised letterbox contact through the court proceedings. It never materialised. I tried to reach out to the adopters via letter when he was about 3 or 4. I was told it got passed on but as there was no order in place they didn’t ever have to reply. They never did and quite frankly I don’t think they ever will. They used me by proxy to have a baby that they could raise from an early age so I was completely cut out. The fact that they have never done the right thing or shown me an ounce of respect (without me they wouldn’t have him although they probably would just have proxy stolen someone else’s child), they could have done that by at least writing to me once. How is denying birth parents to have some form of contact with their child in the best interests of a child? It causes much more damage to sever a connection than maintain it at low levels. I could have accepted being a visited / written to mother more than being like I never had a child. I would never have even minded sharing him of it meant I could be in his life a little. The adoptive parents could have made the decision to let me have supervised contact if they really didn’t trust me. Instead they forced me into maybe a life sentence of never seeing him again.