Hope is all I have but it won’t make things happen.

This is going to be a quick entry tonight. Today has been… challenging. I had to carry a full bag of shopping without a handle (bag for life broke) on a 3 mile walk back to mine in the next town. I have extremely sore arm muscles that now feel extremely heavy. Then Mister (cat) has just slapped the neighbours cat which keeps coming in, so I just had to break them up.

I am basically tying up the loose ends from my past at this point in my life. I’m just not sure that others are going to let me. I am well within my rights to dispute the section 117 aftercare clause since I haven’t had support for years now. That may take a long time but the discharge can happen. The legal situation would be beneficial for me to be discharged from it due to the fact they are failing their duties due to not providing services. There are other things I want that I am not sure others will let me have. I want the restraining order discharged because I never deserved it in the first place and on principle I think it should be taken off given what happened. It ended up indefinite due to the situation and the fact that I wouldn’t stop fighting back during the university situation. That is not something I deserve on my name forever. I’m just not sure the other party will be open to being fair in that department. I remember what they said about me and if those opinions haven’t changed in time then I’m not going to get that off. I wouldn’t be able to do so anyway. I would have to rely on them being a decent person (which I’m not sure that they are after all that kicked off). I have worked so hard to improve myself and become ‘normal’. I have put the effort in over the time I have literally not had any support for my disability. I can hope every day that people see that and be decent / fair when tying up loose ends but I haven’t seen that reflected in human nature previously.