I may be mentally struggling right now but going back on antidepressants is not the option I’m ever going to take. I don’t want antidepressants. If my hormones cause my mental illness issues then going back on them isn’t going to really make a difference. It’s my body. I don’t want medication in me. That is my choice. I may feel restless a lot but that will pass if I lower my expectations and accept my reality. I don’t have friends so I can’t go out like I used to do years ago. There are many adults nowadays that just don’t have friends. It’s one of those things. I can’t let it upset me. I maybe meant to be alone. I hate the reality of my life but I’m stuck in it. I have the cats for company. It’s better to be alone because people come with issues. They either create them or just merge their own into my life. I want peace from all that. I’m crying over my reality but I’m so much better off on my own.