I don’t care how long others have known me. I want to make it clear that unless I let you know me… you definitely don’t know me. I’m not as much of an open book as I appear. The length of time you’ve known of me doesn’t mean we have made that connection that results in you knowing me as a person. Especially the men that I know. You’re all like vultures circling me waiting for me to let my guard down. That just isn’t going to happen. I will never like any of you the same way. I don’t want anyone thinking that they know me. They know I exist as a person yes, but we aren’t on friends level. I am polite and nice to you but I never show myself at a deeper level. We need to clear that up. I will go back out there when or even if I am ready. You’re assumptions are neither welcome or correct. I know that in this area I won’t get much of a chance every time I go out there. I went out there a few times unsuccessfully a few times since I returned to the area (under duress) and each time it hasn’t worked out. That is how it has always been in this area where I grew up. I may never go back out there. I will not be pushed into anything by other peoples comments. I do not welcome comments about my life circumstances. They are not welcome and neither is anyone welcome to tell me that they know me… because I have never shown the true me to them. I don’t show the true me to anyone. Especially after what has happened when I have been open with people in the past.