This is what I have to do to stop my self esteem going down.

I don’t have a lot of energy but I went out for a walk when I woke up really late. I had a protein yogurt despite not being hungry. The light is going so I have to walk my 10,000 steps plus quite quickly. I let myself have a rest yesterday. I’m still too large to let myself have too much of a break. If it wasn’t getting dark I would do more but I will barely make it to the other entrance of the village before the light disappears from the sky. I’m fed up with being tired but restricting calories to under 1500 most days is how I can literally force my body to let go of the fat. It will always be burning the excess, whereas if you go up to a little bit more it won’t go into that mode. I’m ashamed of myself being 77.5 kg. Yeah, I have lost weight (2 kg ish in 3 or 4 weeks). It isn’t enough though. I know that I can do better and this is what I see as slacking. I started at 80kg and now I’m down to 77.5kg. That isn’t good enough. I should at least be 70kg by now. I have put in enough work. I have constantly been grumpy and hungry. I heard someone refer to 70kg as too big the other day. I’m above that and this makes me want to get rid of the weight even more. Unless I get down to at least 60 kg my issues with my thighs being large and all that area is not going to be fixed. I have to shed enough body fat to reduce those problem areas. I used to be really harsh toward those who got overweight. I used to think it was due to them being lazy and not trying. The karma seems to be that now my weight is holding on to me. I will have to virtually ditch alcohol completely to properly get my old body back. The smaller you get the less excess calories you can consume to not gain weight. I’m probably going to have only one meal per day the next few days to make sure alcohol doesn’t take my progress back after this weekend.

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