Drunk wisdom.

In a way this isn’t drunk wisdom. I feel sick so I shouldn’t have drunk so much. It doesn’t matter. I literally have barely drunk alcohol for weeks. I only had a tiny bit in comparison to what I used to have for over a year. We all need to chill occasionally. This blow out will probably be enough to last me a few months. I’m hoping to be at least two stone lighter when I have my next drunk session. I cut my calories for weeks so that I could have a night where I could drink as much alcohol as possible without worrying about calorie limits. It’s best that I don’t think about the potential hangover. Mister has come to snooze next to me (cat). I wish humans loved me as much as animals. There would be so much more hope then. I seem to have been disliked by every human I ever had any feelings for. The cats don’t give a crap that I’m weird as long as I feed them. I wish humans were that simple. I would have been so loving towards A and others I liked in the past but that doesn’t matter. I’m effectively too weird to be loved back. I’m over it. I have no resentment any longer but certain things that got said still continue to hurt me. That may always be the case. At this point I’m so grateful for autocorrect on my phone. I can literally choose the word, or it corrects it if the word looks like drunken sprawling. I couldn’t blog tonight without that function. I’m not saying that you should drink and blog. I’m totally holding back because drunk me cannot be trusted to not say certain things. I make sure drunk me doesn’t text or message anyone. Drunk me has no boundaries and just wants to hang with A and others who don’t like me. Drunk me doesn’t like being alone. Sober me accepts reality. I loved A from the first time I met her. Unfortunately, she will never love me. Life is unfair like that. I really wanted to be a mum but that was taken from me. I assume that wasn’t meant to be as well as being unfair. The bottom line is our realities seem to not align with anything we want. The only thing that makes me remotely happy in my reality is my cats. I don’t actually like living alone. I’m single so I don’t have a choice. I do need alone time but it would be nice to have other people in my home. Animals aren’t quite the same.

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