Weighed down until I’m mentally set free by others.

I finally had a proper sleep so I can function again. The neighbours cat has gone back home so that’s one less thing to deal with today. I have been joined by my cats while I was asleep. I woke up absolutely boiling because Mimi decided to sit right on top of my leg. 2 minutes after waking up I ended up with mister jumping on top of me. Then he curled up next to me so it was more heat.

I really need others, especially A to set me free mentally. The lack of sleep everything causes me stops me being able to function during the day. Did I really do something that terrible I should suffer for the rest of my life? I had no bad intentions at all so why should I be forced to mentally stay this way. I see the hate, injustice and feel that I am an evil person and exactly the definition of what A has said. I literally can’t settle into any relationships after what happened because previous stuff isn’t finished due to the ongoing indefinite nature of the restraining order. I need that final meet up to lay it to rest in my head. It affects my confidence every single day of my life. It’s been long enough to make me suffer now. Please allow me to be set free and not be hated for anything in the past.