I stayed awake and read my cards… shouldn’t have done that.

The future between me and A reading
The future of restraining order reading

These are the two readings which came out above. I got curious and kept on pulling card spreads. In hindsight it was not a good idea because now I’m too stressed to sleep. It is so important for me to clear my name and not be seen in a negative light. These cards just show me there is no hope in that. A can be totally immature about stuff if she wants but it isn’t ok to be cruel. This is what the cards are pointing to when I ask what is the future between us. It’s reading the energy, that doesn’t mean we will ever be on talking terms again. The second reading shows that I am going to be forever tormented by the order that I feel I never deserved. That is partly the cause of my insomnia. I simply cannot and will not accept how I have been labelled and certainly do not accept that order. Then if you cross read the two readings you will pick up that the other person is awsre they’re tormenting me and continues to do so and knows they lied or at least bent the truth for their own gains. I will be unsettled until I prove that all the negative labels when I was younger weren’t right. It is very important to me. I literally can’t properly move on with life until I’ve proven I was actually a good person and there was nothing sinister about me. I was quiet so the narrative got made up around me right from my teen years. I cannot mentally settle until I have proven all this. This is hell living this way. I can never truly rest. I can never mentally rest until I prove that I was not guilty and my mind was innocent. The law was wrong because other peoples perceptions were not my intention. If people were scared of what they don’t understand why should I have to be labelled bad for that? I have no control over other peoples perception. If someone has previously been abused etc they may see things that aren’t really there if something triggers them. That isn’t something I can control. I shouldn’t be punished for that. If people are just immature little brats who play mind games constantly. I shouldn’t be punished for the fact that they never grew up mentally or emotionally for whatever reason. I just can’t do this torment anymore. It tortures me every day and, going by the cards, she probably enjoys that I suffer so much.