I am pushed into a hole when it comes to certain things.

I am technically unemployable. I can’t even get volunteer positions because they now specify that you need 3 years of relevant experience. I am 35, although I have done a lot that hasn’t involved official employment… that doesn’t give me any specific skill set. I don’t have a good enough reason to explain why I haven’t ever been employed. I can’t say Autism or mental health because that is a red flag to any potential employer. I only wanted something small to get me out the house (especially the next few weeks where I am injured and can’t be in routine). I have to skip around. record if parts come up on checks (will on enhanced but not a regular one). I have very few potential references. One has wrote back and said ok to the being included as a personal character reference but I have no professional reference. The last things I did was over a decade ago. I never stayed there long because I went to college, so they won’t be able to really be one at this point. I don’t want to be stuck in this non employment or even just inability to volunteer permanently but there is no solution to this barrier. Younger me didn’t particularly care about building up work experience. She was naturally a free spirit who either got told to get out or left wherever because others there got uncomfortably too familiar. Strangers seem much more comfortable to me. As soon as I get to know others I start to feel awkward and avoidant. Even if I like them I try to avoid their presence. I start to give that kind of energy off so the atmosphere was never good. I now get that this is probably the BPD part of me but at those points of my life I thought that I was ‘doing autism wrong’. So unless there is a solution to this I’m stuck in this life position.

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