I am so uncomfortable.

It is that time of the month again so I am bloated as hell and have a headache. It swells all my muscles on top of exercise so I didn’t do too much at the gym session this week. I also have my injured finger so today has literally been a leg exercise session only. Then the annoying thing about it is that my hand still comes up and I am trying to use my other hand to do stuff (hard when it is my dominant hand). I should have called the GP this morning but having trouble sleeping means I can never meet the 8am deadline to try to get an on the day appointment. We still only get given a phone appointment at our surgery so it is kind of useless if you’ve got a swollen hand. I am really tired. The malfunctioning hard springy mattress is making it harder to sleep. That maybe why I wake up aching a lot. I haven’t got that kind of money to spend all in one go and now I am paying off my mobile phone over 12 months so unless I get a good deal (and I mean decent quality for 400 to 500 quid which I can pay off in stages) I can’t fix the issue. I am going to try to get something to strap my hand up so that I can use it. I left my flat in a state because I just can’t use my hand properly when it comes to vacuuming up etc. Cat hairs are building and that is kicking off my allergies so it’s a horrible environment to live in while I can’t physically keep on top of it. I can barely move anyway just before my monthly starts due to swelling up. I think it may come on slightly early as it was spotting earlier… so if that can just get it over with I will be a lot more comfortable. I really stepped up my home exercises this week (only normally walk) and I feel it so much that I had to take the weight levels down which I normally lift due to my muscles already being fatigued. It works though. I got my base weight to 78.8kg when I got up today which was unexpected after falling off the calorie consumption ladder earlier on in the week. I did 600 reps of leg exercises (3 different ways 100 each) in bed the first night and 100 on each leg the night after (200 in total). Yesterday I went for a walk too. I needed to push my body into fat burning mode due to the fact that it was messing around not getting very far on the weight loss scale. It sounds a lot but doesn’t feel it if you do it in sets of 20. This is probably the worse time of the month to do it but as I am in pain anyway it will just blend in and probably help push nature along in the hormone department. I was getting rather lazy. I wasn’t trying hard enough and then bitching about gaining weight… I have bloat today but that is just temporary for probably the next week. I am totally prepared to feel battered for the next week if in the long run my weight finally drops. I can still lift some weights on my arms because I have a wrap around weight that will avoid having to put pressure on my swollen hand (it sticks around the wrist) … it isn’t so heavy but I can keep up progress while injured.

We never know the full facts in many cases.

I have a really bad migraine so this is going to be a quick entry tonight. I also have a worse swollen finger which I can no longer bend and my strength is going down in it. I literally put ice on it which is when it got stiffer and started playing up more.

The things coming out about Archie Battersby’s mother and their family situation over the passed 24 hours have shown that we do not always know the full facts of any situation. The fact that she went from her original name, Lisa Pittaway, to Hollie Dance is one thing. Her old name brings up a lot of stuff from her past including having served time for criminal offences when Google searched. There is also rumours that the accident wasn’t a TikTok challenge but a suicide attempt. We don’t know which is the truth. We shouldn’t be attacking her character because regardless of what is happening she is going to lose her son. I recognise her face from somewhere. She had the same name as my son’s father. That surname isn’t that common. Her son had the blond haired features that mine did when he was born. I would assume that he still has that kind of colouring now aged 10. I thought of my son straight away when I first saw him because of how he looked. It is none of my business because personal life didn’t really get discussed when we entered into our arrangement for him to get me pregnant a decade ago. It is strange how I thought that and then find out her former surname was the same as his while also thinking her face looks familiar from the first time I saw it on the news. He was older than me so would be closer to her age. This world can be a very small place nowadays. Last time he was escaping from the situation in regard to social services involvement and the subsequent decision that my son had to be adopted… his excuse for not getting involved as a friend was that he was moving to France with his parents. I don’t know how true that was, but he has been ghost with me ever since.