I wish that I could cope but struggling.

I haven’t slept during the night again. I just can’t right now. I don’t really want to go to the appointment for my feet today but I waited for it a month as you have to book in advance.! I didn’t know that my finger was going to swell up at that exact same time. I can’t really leave my ingrown toenails in that state because it will end up painful to walk etc. Then I realised that I have basically stuffed myself full of over 2,000 calories for 3 days in a row which explains the scale creeping up. The reverse dieting thing wasn’t good for me because my hunger signals kick off when hormones are like this. I can’t afford to get any larger. The size of my thighs already makes me feel huge even if that all turns to muscle. I’m not eating a load of crap so it might go to muscle mass. I will be fine once I started monthly next week. I can’t function right now though. I can’t regulate hunger or sleep. I can barely think properly and very tired in general. The thought of being in public right now at this point of the day feels too much.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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