I wish that I could cope but struggling.

I haven’t slept during the night again. I just can’t right now. I don’t really want to go to the appointment for my feet today but I waited for it a month as you have to book in advance.! I didn’t know that my finger was going to swell up at that exact same time. I can’t really leave my ingrown toenails in that state because it will end up painful to walk etc. Then I realised that I have basically stuffed myself full of over 2,000 calories for 3 days in a row which explains the scale creeping up. The reverse dieting thing wasn’t good for me because my hunger signals kick off when hormones are like this. I can’t afford to get any larger. The size of my thighs already makes me feel huge even if that all turns to muscle. I’m not eating a load of crap so it might go to muscle mass. I will be fine once I started monthly next week. I can’t function right now though. I can’t regulate hunger or sleep. I can barely think properly and very tired in general. The thought of being in public right now at this point of the day feels too much.

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