I’m not answering things at the moment.

I am sorry but I am not replying to anything at the moment. I can’t be out there at the moment. I literally have gained all the weight back in a week due to stuffing myself. I now have a morning base weight of 79.8 kg and I need to deal with that before I reply to anything. I undid everything. I can barely eat the next few days to bring it back down. I won’t starve if I take the multivitamins with what I ado eat. I have no interest in being social that isn’t productive.
I woke up with my finger actually stiff this morning. It is still really swollen and now it’s stiff it hurts to bend. I am too large to exist. I now need to eat one meal a day and breakfast every second day for a week to make my body go down. I am hungry but I will be because I was constantly topping up calories. I went for a walk yesterday but it got cut short due to headphones dying. I have left them on charge so they have no excuse to let me down again. I don’t barely want to drink because that is excess scale weight straight away. I have been going the gym and trying to lose weight for nearly a year now. I shouldn’t be still stuck after losing the first stone. I should have barely any body fat by now. I don’t go as much as I should due to injury but I walk enough. I used to be 9 and a half stone walking most days. I don’t want this body it sucks.

I wish that I could cope but struggling.

I haven’t slept during the night again. I just can’t right now. I don’t really want to go to the appointment for my feet today but I waited for it a month as you have to book in advance.! I didn’t know that my finger was going to swell up at that exact same time. I can’t really leave my ingrown toenails in that state because it will end up painful to walk etc. Then I realised that I have basically stuffed myself full of over 2,000 calories for 3 days in a row which explains the scale creeping up. The reverse dieting thing wasn’t good for me because my hunger signals kick off when hormones are like this. I can’t afford to get any larger. The size of my thighs already makes me feel huge even if that all turns to muscle. I’m not eating a load of crap so it might go to muscle mass. I will be fine once I started monthly next week. I can’t function right now though. I can’t regulate hunger or sleep. I can barely think properly and very tired in general. The thought of being in public right now at this point of the day feels too much.