There is absolutely no way I will be going back on antidepressants. I would rather cry several times a day than go back on them. I am not depressed. I just see the world and it’s people accurately now. The world is absolutely horrible full of people who do not give a shit about vulnerable… Read More I see the world for what it is… I’m not depressed.

I got a message request on LinkedIn which I cannot check because the app keeps telling me my details are wrong (yet I can log on in web browser, go figure). I don’t particularly use LinkedIn. I sometimes check instagram, twitter, fb messenger and TikTok messages. I check my email every day but I never… Read More I’m really disorganised and hard to get hold of nowadays.

I really don’t think that it is a good idea that I do tackle certain things while injured. I’m suppose to be resting and recovering. I’m not recovering anyway because the past is keeping me awake. I have to act but also just looking up the paperwork for the ref number associated with the restraining… Read More I need to do stuff but I don’t want to face the trauma.

I finally had a proper sleep so I can function again. The neighbours cat has gone back home so that’s one less thing to deal with today. I have been joined by my cats while I was asleep. I woke up absolutely boiling because Mimi decided to sit right on top of my leg. 2… Read More Weighed down until I’m mentally set free by others.

The neighbours cat strolled in again. I’m literally too tired to even get out let alone tell him to go. I’m keeping an eye but if I fall asleep then I’m sorry but too tired to stay awake. He is in a continuous sniffing around mode at the moment. He took a pee in the… Read More Very tired and more cat antics.

These are the two readings which came out above. I got curious and kept on pulling card spreads. In hindsight it was not a good idea because now I’m too stressed to sleep. It is so important for me to clear my name and not be seen in a negative light. These cards just show… Read More I stayed awake and read my cards… shouldn’t have done that.

I wasn’t back home until late and then had to put my name bed covers on because I washed the others earlier. I finally got to bed. Checked the tarot cards regarding restraining order removal. It wasn’t great. If death and the hanged man comes out on either end of the spread, with the page… Read More Late night again.

This keeps going around my head and I can’t stop my brain going there. I really don’t believe that A was just a mean person who did what they did on purpose. I feel things and that isn’t what I get. I think that there is much more to it. That has to come out… Read More Why did A betray me?

I am technically unemployable. I can’t even get volunteer positions because they now specify that you need 3 years of relevant experience. I am 35, although I have done a lot that hasn’t involved official employment… that doesn’t give me any specific skill set. I don’t have a good enough reason to explain why I… Read More I am pushed into a hole when it comes to certain things.

I decided to do some cleaning instead of going to bed. I used my hand to write a few pages and now it hurts and is more swollen again. I feel really worried. I don’t even know why. I keep getting deja vu moments. I am not mad. I am totally sane. Probably the most… Read More I am not asleep again 😦 random worried feeling after constant deja vu.