I just can’t today.

I only was just able to push myself outside for a walk. I was feeling so lazy after having a rest day yesterday. I had a small pack of alcohol last night as a treat and it gives me the patience needed when bleaching out the dark and ginger parts of my hair. The processing time meant I had it on until super late at night. I was going to use more than one box but wasn’t sure if I was reacting to it. They sometimes tweak the ingredients so my skin reacts until it gets used to it. The pathetic small amount of mixture you get for 6 pounds is absolutely useless for thick hair. You can buy separate bleach sachets and cream developer but the price is about the same. I am sure that every time I do housework there is an unknown force that just makes it look like I haven’t done it the next day. I had a good blitz on my rest day but now there is just as much bits around and things kept dropping on the floor when I was trying to put dinner on last night. I wiped it up but only with kitchen roll so it dried looking an absolute mess. Yogurt also leaves stickiness which keeps catching the underneath of my slipper. In my defence I managed to get a lot done in regard to putting a full root coverage of bleach while my dinner was cooking which I used to be quite slow doing. Then the cats decided that it was time for their dinner. That delayed mine even more. I swear that things are just constantly kicking up in my face right now. I literally put oil through my pony tail. It has gone dry again. I probably need to do a moisture treatment and straighten it into my hair again. That is the only way I can get it to retain moisture when it’s blond. I am somehow managing to keep the ends enough for it to get long this time. There is never a time when I do not put leave in conditioner on the lengths so even if it goes dry it doesn’t snap off. The trick is not to fiddle with it which is something I used to do a lot when younger. Bleach, wash, deep condition, straighten, and leave for a week. You can put oil on it in between if it gets a bit dry and make sure you protect it from the sun with those sun protection included oils.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

2 thoughts on “I just can’t today.”

  1. Your routine looks like mine! And, “every time I do housework there is an unknown force that just makes it look like I haven’t done it the next day” – this is VERY relatable! I also bleach my hair, but since it’s short, I do all of it in every 3 months. It’s all unpleasant (haircut plus bleaching), but tolerable since it’s not that frequent. I tried to make all procedures as easy as possible some time ago as all that is too exhausting 😦


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