I’m busy so here is a quick entry today.

I have to make a really hard effort to clean my flat later. It is a awful grubby mess. I have done bits but never finish it without getting tired. I sleep in intervals at the moment. That is fine if it is more than just a few hours. That is what happened last night and early this morning. I literally laid awake for hours in between. I had my breakfast at half 4 this morning but still couldn’t sleep until gone 6. I have a bad stomach which keeps making me feel like I need to go toilet. I went last night which eased off a little but it feels like there is a ball right in the middle of my back. I felt empty briefly but now I feel like I need to get rid of it. And, on that note regarding getting rid of stuff. I will be getting justice because I am not giving up until I obtain that justice. It isn’t a question of if but when others will give me justice. I was never in the wrong. I point blankly refuse to get talked down to now. I have started standing up for myself now which has shocked those closest to me. I won’t be spoken to like they are used to speaking to me. Those of you that didn’t grow up with a lack of supply of love or affection won’t get just how innocent minded I am. I just wanted a friend from the start and lost everything including my own child because the world refused to perceive me correctly. That bullshit ends now and I require the justice that I was denied for so many years!

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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